Some of the things that make life worth living are joy, enthusiasm, and hope. They are the building blocks of a good life and much needed in creating a balanced life. Too much of anything is not healthy. I’m not talking about eating too many potato chips. It’s about keeping yourself emotionally and mentally in balance during challenging moments. I feel like I’m harping, but I was listening to a podcast on YouTube, and it reminded me again of the devastation that can occur when we willingly give our power to another.

I do mean devastation. People’s lives have been ruined. Some suffered mental breakdowns, others endured catastrophic financial loss, and others have caused their personal and professional relationships to become non-existent, leaving them with almost no connections to another living soul. What causes all this? Giving away your power. How do you do that? When we fall into a state of desperation, we make the perfect targets for others willing to take control of us.

What does that mean? At the extreme end of it, it’s allowing someone to dictate what you do, what you say, how you act, and even how you think. It’s a classic example of abuse. The sad thing about this is that you may not even be aware you did it.

No one can take your power from you. Period. All they can do is convince you to give it to them. Those who like to control others do it so subtly that it’s hard to realize it’s happening. People don’t see that they have compromised themselves until one day, they have the thought, “What the hell am I doing?” By then, years may have gone by, and there are complications such as being financially entangled with that person as with a business. They may be married with kids to that person. That person could be their parent or even someone they thought of as a friend.

If any of this feels familiar to you, it’s time for you to take a look at what’s happening around you. If there is something taking up all or most of your time and you don’t feel good about it, take a look at it. It may be time or long past time for you to make a change.

How does someone convince you to give your power away?

It starts with you. Stay with me, and don’t start blaming yourself. This is not the time to assess who’s fault it is. It is time to evaluate where you are, where you want to be, and what you’re going to do to get there. The step after that is to determine how you got there in the first place to make sure you never go there again. That last step is what can trip people up. It’s a crucial step that people skip, believing that since they managed to get out of the last situation, that they would never get into another one, yet that is exactly what they do. Remember that lessons get harder every time they come back around. Some of those lessons can kill you.

Over the past few years, I mentioned that I released people from my life. People who I considered to be lifelong friends. I found that being around them no longer made me happy. Spending time with them brought out the worst in me instead of the best. Negative energy seeped into my life faster and stronger the more time I spent with them. It’s only in the past two weeks that I realized it was due to my not having strong enough boundaries with them. I allowed them to push past what I considered to be my limits for things and then got angry at them for not respecting those boundaries. The thing about boundaries is that if you’re going to have them, you will need to occasionally defend them.

There will always be people who will push, cajole, or outright order you to do what they want. Most of us are so nice that we don’t want to be disagreeable about things so we give in. We need to pick our battles. We can’t fight about everything all the time. That’s exhausting. However, we can decide where our limits are and make it clear to others where that limit is and that they need to be prepared to face a consequence should they refuse to respect it.

This comes down to respecting yourself. Know yourself. Know what you can tolerate and what you can’t. What you will put up with and what you won’t and stick to it. By standing up for yourself, you stand in your power. You use your power, and you strengthen your power. Know your own mind. Know your own heart. Follow your instincts. Say no if you want to say no. Say yes if you want to say yes. Allow your intuition to guide you to the best people and situations for you. Don’t let others derail you from achieving your goals.

All this is easier said than done, of course. You might be in a situation that you can’t do anything about right now. That’s okay. Think about how you would like it to change for the better. Start to send energy to that positive idea to begin manifesting it today. Begin to shape your new reality with positive thoughts and actions at the right time. Plan it out, see yourself making that change from beginning to end, step by step. You deserve to be respected at all times. Don’t accept anything less. This helps ensure you don’t ever give away your power.