I heard someone say you are a combination of those closest to you. I instinctively feel that is true. Those who are closest to you are the ones that reflect and, to a certain degree, shape who you are. What you allow them to get away with is a direct connection to your faults and failures. How you encourage others is a display of your strengths. For that reason, I had to think about the people who surrounded me throughout my life. I have to thank the universe for making the list better over time. 

I don’t mean that some people are better than others. I don’t believe that for a second. It’s just that I’m spending more time with people who “get me.” I used to have a best friend. Someone I thought would be in my life for the rest of my life. A few years ago, that relationship dissolved. We no longer had anything in common. We used to know one another well, but then it felt like I was looking at a stranger, one I didn’t care to know anymore. She seemed to treat me the same. Walking away from that wasn’t pleasant, but now that time has passed, I can see it was inevitable. It was in the best interest of both of us to do so.

Allowing relationships and connections that don’t work to fall away makes room for others to step in and take that space. At least, that’s what it did for me. People I didn’t know that well stepped in and made me see things I hadn’t noticed before. What was especially difficult then was that a bunch of people went their own way within a short time. Everyone was abandoning the ship simultaneously, with me being the ship.

This ship is still afloat thanks to time and other people. I’m now at a point where I can do things, tell friends about it, and know they get what I’m talking about without explaining it extensively. A friend said I wasn’t used to “playing” with people at my level. At first, I thought he was just being snobby, but then it made sense. Think of it like this: if you are an expert at brain surgery, you can’t have the same level of conversation about brain surgery with a gardener as you can with another brain surgeon. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with discussing brain surgery with a gardener, but once you get into highly technical terms, you would spend all your time explaining. The same would be true of a master gardener discussing the correct soil composition for roses with a brain surgeon. There is no base shared knowledge to stand on. No level of understanding that they can assume the other person possesses. I needed to find people with the same knowledge and ability to have conversations that promote growth for me, incite my personal and professional curiosity, and encourage me toward discovery and innovation. We all need people like this. Many of us find those who help us use these things negatively. Using discernment with the people you surround yourself with will ensure they aren’t helping you down a path to a destination where you don’t want to go.

Think about who you are now and who you want to be. If those two people are very different, what do you need to do to bring one closer to the other? Many techniques, such as meditation and visualization, can help bring those two energies closer together. It is about energy. We often forget that when we change, we also serve as the catalyst for others to change. They have to adapt to the change in our energy, behavior, or habits. If they can support those changes without too much effort, it’s smooth. If it’s harder for them to support it, expect pushback. That could mean many things: an argument, a compromise, an agreement to disagree, passive-aggressive behavior, or a separation. People deal with change in many different ways. It all depends on the people involved and the level of communication they have or don’t have.

The bottom line is that we have to do what we need to do for ourselves. When we are content and happy, that is the energy that surrounds us. We then attract the things and people that enhance that happiness. The reverse is also true. When we are unhappy, we get wrapped up in unhappy things. Nobody wants that.

The people who can help you become who you want to be are waiting for you. It all starts with you. You set the energy levels for yourself. Once you settle into that level, you will meet people already at that energy level. Others will then rise to meet you or not.