I love metaphysics. It’s helped me in many ways and allowed me to see how others have changed, grown, and achieved goals. The underlying theme to all of it is being positive. To work on raising your vibration through positive thought and action. By allowing your joy to infuse everything you do and surrounding yourself with people who love and support you. That is the general recipe, and for the most part, it works well for most people. It’s a way of being and living. A process of holding positive, hopeful energy while taking steps to get closer to your goal. It’s a space where gratitude and possibility live. In the world of metaphysics, this is where you want to be. Where you want to spend most of your time. This is the space of manifestation and happy ever after.

The problem is that most people, myself included, can’t stay in that state of glowing, flowing energy all the time. The circumstances of life cause us to fluctuate. We work to be in that state as much as possible, but to expect everyday people to live in that state is unreasonable. It takes a lot of practice to get to that state. Living there and viewing our entire lives from that state takes more practice. Yet, I´ve heard people tell others that it is the only state of being that matters. I disagree.

People get readings and speak to mentors to ask for advice, insight, or guidance on their real-world problems. Most physics/readers will provide perspective and often give suggestions for how the person can process their thoughts and feelings on their situations in a healthy way. Others will tell that person to ignore what’s happening and spend their energy only on positive things. They should immediately let go of whatever they think or feel without examining them and only focus on positive thoughts and feelings. This kind of positivity is toxic because it’s a form of spiritual bypassing.

Years ago, at a local metaphysical store. I wanted to teach a class about detecting negative entities, specifically to talk about how they show up and what to look for. When faced with the possibility of dealing with something like that, most feel afraid and helpless. The class was to give them knowledge based on my experience that would allow them to stand in their power if they ever faced an entity and be able to do something about it. The store owner declined by saying that they only wanted to offer classes to bring enlightenment. They didn’t want a class discussing such a dark subject. I stared at her and shook my head but didn’t say anything. I stood there remembering that the word enlighten means to bring light, as in the revelation of knowledge. They chose to purposely keep people in the dark. I haven’t taught in that store since.

They only wanted to present the positive side of energy and ignore the negative side of it. Allowing others to believe that all they have to do is focus on the positive and nothing negative can happen is doing people a disservice. Toxic positivity is continuously focusing on the positive and never on the negative. Spiritual bypassing goes a step further by telling someone that all negative thoughts and feelings should be suppressed and ignored. No one ever says this outright, but it’s generally understood that you should abandon what you feel and adopt a positive persona, even if you have to fake it.

Both of these concepts have done a lot of damage. Too many “gurus” tell people to always focus on the positive. I say that as well, but I also say that real life doesn’t allow us to live that way every minute of every day. Sometimes we’re afraid, frustrated, tired, confused, angry, or worried. We are concerned for ourselves, our families, our health, our jobs, our finances and our future. That’s normal. Most of us don’t live in an ivory tower where we live the perfect life. 

We need to be mindful that we don’t allow those worries to become a rut in which we find ourselves constantly submerged. That drags down our vibration faster than the undertow at the beach. However, it doesn’t mean we drop our worries like hot potatoes and move on. Life has to be lived, good and not so good. Whatever thoughts and feelings we have about something are valid. They must be felt, worked through, or dealt with to our satisfaction. Suppressing doesn’t change anything, and it’s a waste of time if it’s regarding something important or life-changing. Important things will come up repeatedly until it’s processed and resolved.

Do we need to focus on the positive as much as possible? Yes, but not at the expense of our thoughts or feelings. Should we ignore anything negative that comes our way? This is a judgment call. We can walk away from some things, such as someone being rude. Other times, we have to deal with whatever it is as best we can. In those situations, the more knowledge we have, the greater the chance we will make an informed decision. To turn away from the possibility of negativity leaves us open to getting blindsided by something.

Be grateful for the little things, even when it’s tough. Meditate, take walks, and take care of yourself. Watch your favorite movies, sing your favorite songs, and spend time with your loved ones. All these simple things can not only help you keep your vibration up but also help you process whatever you need to when things are bumpy. Ask for help if needed, ask all the questions you want, and, more importantly, listen to the answers. Don’t take positivity for granted. Grasp onto it and use it to give you strength as you move through anything negative. They are two sides of the same coin. You can’t have one without the other. While living in a fairytale land is tempting, you will come out ahead if you avoid toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing.