This is the first of many posts based on me pulling a card from one of my Oracle decks. Today’s card is Cooperation. When some of us hear the word, we cringe. Over time, for various reasons, we have become increasingly isolated. Technology makes it possible for us to connect with others all over the world while at the same time separating us from those in our physical area. Depending on where you live, it’s more likely that you will never meet your next-door neighbor. We used to live primarily in communities where we not only knew everyone’s name but also knew their business, and they knew ours. It’s tough to keep a secret in a small town or, in my case, an island. It was inevitable that you knew someone who knew someone else regardless of where they lived on the island. Either you were related to them, Hawaiians usually have big extended families, or you went to school with them, or your cousin or friend did. No matter where you went or what you did, you were bound to run into someone who knew you or one of your family members. The bonus to being so connected was that others jumped in to assist when someone in the community needed help.

Many don’t have a community behind them unless it’s through an association like a club, a church, or an organization. Most of the time, we don’t utilize those connections because of shame. No one likes to be seen as needy, even though most of us, at one time or another, will need help with something. There also seems to be an increase in the attitude of entitlement, “You’re supposed to help me. Why do I have to thank you for it?” The other side of the coin is that if someone helps you, it creates an obligation and expectation of gratitude and deference for the rest of your life. Who wants that?

It’s safer to do things ourselves. To be inside alone. Our human psyche demands that we socialize even a little for our mental health. We also have to live in a society that says we have to stand on our own, do everything ourselves, and not burden another. That contradicts the tribal/village system we used to have, which allowed everyone in the village to develop their strengths and interests. It allowed us to help a neighbor with our strength and let our neighbors help us with theirs.

We are expected to know it all and do it all well. It’s an unrealistic expectation. That expectation also extends to whatever we might need emotionally or spiritually. We are expected to find a way to deal with whatever we have going on, again, without overly burdening another. Cooperation is only something we do in certain circumstances, not knowing that it is woven into the fabric of who we were, who we are, and who we will always be.

Some of us are terrible at asking for help. We often choose to go it alone, but we don’t have to. We always have someone on our side, someone in our corner, even when we don’t realize it. When clients tell me they have no support in their lives, I tell them they have more people on their side than they think. We all do at all times. Their eyes light up when I remind them that they always have ancestors, angels, guides, and guardians with them. They may also have people in their lives that they would depend on if they only asked for help. It often takes people a minute to realize that they have people around them who can support them, at least in small ways, if they take the time to ask.

Cooperation is also about stepping out of our comfort zones to help others. If we don’t need any help right now, it could mean that there is someone around us that does. Our efforts to assist with generosity and gratitude can pave the way for us to achieve greater things. Our participation, whether giver or receiver, can help us build better lives and a stronger community, which is the benefit of cooperation.