It’s a simple question, but the answer is complicated. Many of us blurt out an answer depending on whatever is going on at the moment. I’ve caught myself doing this when someone has asked me the question. When it was cold and rainy, I said a warm sunny day would make me happy instead of answering the question honestly. Often, most of us don’t know what would make us happy.

Many of us have put conditions on our happiness. I’ve heard others say things like, “I’ll be feeling better after something happens.” That’s fine if it’s true, but inevitably, once they get past that one thing, they replace it with another thing. One thing solved allows the next urgent thing to rise to the top of the list, which puts their happiness on hold again. As things keep coming up, happiness or even contentment never seems to make the list.

I have been contemplating happiness myself, like everyone else, wondering when I will ever truly be happy. Then I realized I was making a mistake big enough to derail my life. Happy is not a destination. This is something I recently learned from Oprah and Arthur C. Brooks while watching their podcast. They talked about the book they wrote together called Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier. At this writing, I haven’t read the book yet, but it’s on my TBR list.

What struck me about their discussion regarding happiness is that being happy is NOT a destination. It is a work in progress. A series of steps we take that continue to make us happier as we go along. I took that to mean that I could decide to be happy right now and be even happier tomorrow. That doesn’t mean I’m going to start looking at the world as if it were all roses and ponies, but it does mean that the basis upon which I could base my general emotional standpoint would be happy.

The two authors outlined the science of happiness and what steps to take to achieve a higher state of happiness day after day, week after week. I found the discussion fascinating, and I look forward to incorporating those steps into my own life. Oprah mentioned that being happy raises your vibration. As a metaphysician, she was speaking my language.

The whole point of engaging in the spiritual practices we do is so that we will raise our vibrations and begin to resonate and attract the things that will contribute to our happiness, whatever that looks like. The other thing I found interesting was that they said they wrote the book to provide information to others in a way that made sense and was accessible. Also, they could be of service to others by giving them the gift of that information. They wanted to help lift up others. I can honestly say that after listening to them talk about the book and knowing that it hit number one on the NY Times Best Seller List, I would say that others felt the relevance of that information and that they have achieved their goal of giving people a great gift.

So ask yourself, what makes you happy? Is it money, fame, power, prestige? You may think that individuals who are part of the metaphysical world don’t care about that sort of thing, but you would be wrong. I’ve met people who were gifted and happy to help others, but only if they were able to pay. It was always money first. I’m not saying that to judge them. I don’t know their circumstances, and all of us have to pay bills. There’s nothing wrong with wanting money to make life more comfortable. It’s when there’s nothing else driving the need for it that the energy of it can get a little iffy.

The one thing I have learned about listening to Oprah and Arthur is that in chasing down some of the things I have in my life, there is so much I missed. There are many things I could have enjoyed the heck out of, but I was too busy being uncomfortable or preoccupied. I was too busy to be happy. So, to answer my own question, what makes me happy? Being aware that I can give myself permission to be happy regardless of the circumstances. That I can always choose to be happy. If only for a moment. It’s enough to take me to the next step. What is your next step in being happier?