One of my favorite sayings used to be, “You’re killing me.” I think it’s funny, and of course, I don’t mean it literally. I said it one day while spending time with a friend, and she gave me a horrified look before exclaiming, “Don’t say that again!” I didn’t think it was a big deal until she reminded me that words have power.

Thoughts, feelings, actions, and words all have energy, which means they have the ability to affect the world around you. I was once told that the Universe doesn’t understand “not or no” or negative sentences of any kind. That it doesn’t process sarcasm when you say something like, “I really want to go back to that hellhole,” when you really mean that you want to leave a place like that behind and move to a better one. What happens is that the Universe takes the sentence’s literal meaning and sends you more of it. Instead of sending the energy of “I want a better place,” you would be asking the Universe to send you to another hellhole.

As people of power, we need to be mindful of how we phrase things when we use our words. Not only when we speak but when we write and how we think. All of it is energy. Once we radiate that energy, it is what is magnified and reflected back to us.

My extended family was one where we never discussed hardships. We just got on with it. Do what needs to be done. If you really needed help, you asked for it, but for the most part, do your best. As I was growing up, I could see pain in their faces, but no one ever really talked about it. I would see my grandaunts rubbing their arthritic knees, but they would never say anything. When asked how they felt, they would nod and change the subject. I didn’t understand why they wouldn’t just say they were in pain. Now I do. If you claim the pain, that tells the Universe you’re okay with it being there and/or you want more of it.

Pain comes in many forms: physical, emotional, and mental. Whatever pain you have, separate yourself from it. You do this with how you refer to it. Instead of saying, “My arthritis,” you say, “the arthritis.” Instead of “my anxiety,” you say or think, “the anxiety.” For some, this equates to mental gymnastics or semantics, but from an energy perspective, it’s crucial in getting the pain from a permanent or chronic state to a temporary or non-existent one. It is consciously separating you from the pain, making it clear to the Universe that you do not accept the pain and that you are ready at any time for it to go away.

This applies to anything that disrupts your world in some way. I had a friend who had a favorite phrase, which was, “I bless you on your journey.” It was her way of energetically telling people to get the hell away from her. Whenever she spoke about that person, she would say, “I bless them on their journey.” Sure enough, that person would no longer be a part of her life after some time. Have I used this myself? You betcha. Does it work? Oh yeah.

Pain or other ongoing issues can be complicated, but being mindful of how you think and speak about it is a tool you can use to lessen its energy grip. The best way to deal with issues of any kind is to find the source within you that attracted it and fix it, but it can be difficult as the pain can be a distraction and a deterrent. When I work with energy for someone’s pain, it can sometimes get worse, more intense, before it gets better. Fearing that intensity, some choose to keep the pain at a level they can tolerate. This is also why people stay in bad jobs or terrible relationships, fearing they’re going to get one that’s worse.

Whatever is causing disruption in your life, be careful how you refer to it. Another friend makes it a point to say things like, “The doctor’s diagnosis was cancer.” I have never heard her say, “I have cancer.” She’s beaten two different instances of it with no major side effects, and she’s not the only person I know who has done it. I’ve also known two people who owned their diagnosis. They have passed away. It’s something to think about. Getting into the habit of thinking and speaking in terms that separate you from whatever ails you can help change the energy surrounding you and prevent you from owning and claiming pain.