A friend of mine had mentioned the word to me in a conversation we were having. I don’t remember the conversation’s topic, but the word stuck in my head. I wasn’t sure what the word meant. I mean in the grand scheme of things, so I took a few days and let the word roll around in my head and really think about it.

When I hear the word, it makes me think of the South and the Bible. Not bad things, but were they relevant to me? Not really. I’m not from the South and, thus far, haven’t visited, but would like to someday. In my everyday existence, I don’t think much about Southern Life. As far as the Bible, I’ve read it a few times, different versions of it. I don’t know how much of it sunk in. My scientifically curious brain ended up comparing passages. I was seeing how the authors rewrote the passages to determine if the essence of the two interpretations were the same and how those reworded passages might be interpreted by those who read them.

The Bible is a complicated subject just because so many people have taken it upon themselves to rewrite it to make it more accessible. It makes sense that if the Bible guides Christianity, there is confusion even among the faithful. This is a topic for another day. My point is that Grace, while often used in the Christian tradition, has greater implications and impact than I realized.

Grace is usually referenced as the Grace of God. That’s good, but in thinking about it, everyone can grant and receive it. When someone does us wrong, we are expected to forgive them. Those who can forgive the most horrible things are considered gracious. What if we can’t, though? What if what happened was so devastating to us that we can’t forget, much less forgive? We know that it puts us in a bind of our own making. We’ve created a roadblock that will be with us for the rest of our lives until or unless we are willing to let go of it.

Forgiveness for some people means letting that person off the hook for whatever they have done, and that is not possible. We have all heard that when you forgive someone, you are not condoning their actions or accepting that what happened was okay. Forgiveness is about you, not them. For someone in the grip of grief or pain, it’s about them. It’s about holding so tightly to something to make sure that person pays for every ounce of misery they caused. I also heard someone say that they could not forgive someone personally but could forgive that person through God. If either of those techniques for releasing that roadblock resonates with you, do it. It’s in your best interest.

We are all human, and humans make mistakes. Sometimes those mistakes are minor, and others are failures large enough to measure on a hurricane scale. Forgiveness is tough. Especially if you have a tendency to hold grudges. You may acknowledge that holding that grudge does nothing to that person and is hurting you. Despite the logic, people still hold grudges anyway.

Holding onto this kind of energy with the vehemence that goes with it creates an energy block in the body that can stop the energy flow in the body and leave the body open and susceptible to disease. To bring the body as close to perfect health as it can be, energy must flow freely in the body. To do what it needs to do to help the body stabilize when it becomes unbalanced. Having an energy block in the body and purposely keeping it there is not a good idea.

I can’t remember who said it, and I’m going to paraphrase it, but it was something like, “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die.” Here is where Grace can come in.

We can all admit certain things:

Everybody makes mistakes.

People need to pay when they hurt others.

Forgiveness is possible.

People can change for the better.

These are all statements of Grace. None of them says that the person is being forgiven for anything. None of them requires the person who has been wronged to put aside how they feel. Those statements and others like them give the person holding all that anger space to move that energy. Any energy movement at all is good. It is the first step in healing.

Forgiving someone and healing are two different things. Once the energy can get moving, healing can begin. Letting go completely is required for true healing, but if the wound is deep, it will take time to get there. The person may never get there. It all depends on what they choose to do, but by using statements similar to the ones listed above, they might be able to loosen the energy they hold enough to begin healing. As time goes on, they might be able to release more and more of that energy and feel better.

Some things will never be forgiven or forgotten, and that’s just how it is. Unless someone is willing to let go of something completely, it will never happen. However, to prevent that energy from wreaking havoc in their lives and with their health, it must at least move, and using statements like the ones I listed or others more appropriate and just as generic to their situation could help loosen that energy. It would help, even if only in a small way. It might not be possible for someone to grant forgiveness, but they might be able to grant the situation the gift of Grace.