I love this one. It’s a reminder that while we have the option to float through life like a leaf on the wind, to go where it takes us, we can also make a different choice.

The puzzle of life is complicated. So many factors go into building a life even before we enter the world and draw our first breath. Then there are the experiences we have from that first breath onward. I believe that some of those experiences are “predetermined.” They set us up for the harder things later. It’s like taking basic math in school to set you up for algebra later. Of course, what makes it harder is that there are more rules or, in some cases, different rules depending on the circumstances. That is life.

One of the things we can always do is set an intention. This is the energy we lay out describing our expectations for our situation. Be aware that you can set whatever intentions you like, but it won’t work if it’s not in your best interest to come out in your favor. I’ve seen this happen many times. It’s like the grand plan of the universe, which we don’t have access to, overrides anything we do if it’s not in our best interest to give it to us.

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.” This refers to wanting something so much you bring it into being without thinking about the things that come with it. Every positive has a negative. We don’t often remember that, but it does. It’s also true that every negative has a positive. Finding it may take us a while, but it’s there. Setting an intention can help mitigate the negative effects in an overall positive situation, and it can bring more positive activity and a speedier resolution to a negative one.

When we are involved in something stressful and at odds with someone. We start to focus our energy on that other person. From an energy perspective, that isn’t helpful. When thinking about how annoying or hateful that person is, we send them that kind of energy that is then reflected back to us, and we send more of it. It’s a never-ending cycle that builds an environment where no one wants to or can communicate effectively. It can cause a situation to drag on, possibly for years. No one wants that.

When people ask me how to handle things like this, I tell them not to focus on the other party. I tell them to focus on the situation as a whole. Visualize it as if they are on one side of the room, the other person is on the other, and there is a huge ball of swirling, tangled energy between them. Instead of sending energy to their “opponent,” I tell them to send energy to the energy between them. The easiest way to do that is to set an intention.

The one I recommend most of the time is, “I set an intention that this situation will be resolved quickly for the highest good for everyone involved.”

Let’s examine that more closely. Does everyone want the situation resolved quickly? Yes. Is everyone going to be happy when it’s over? Maybe, maybe not. If the circumstances are contentious, there will be a “winner” and a “loser.” Those are in quotes because when you get into major situations, no one really wins anything. Time, money, sleep, and sometimes other things are lost on both sides. The resolution will be for the highest good for everyone involved. It means that whether they win or lose, how it turned out was ultimately in their best interest, even if they didn’t realize it at the time. It also includes anyone affected directly or indirectly by the situation. Often, we become so involved in our part of something that we forget that others can be affected by it without being directly involved in it.

One family member may be involved in something, but it can affect the whole family. If someone gets into financial trouble, their family may suffer, or other family members may be affected as they jump in to help. If a member of the family has a drug or alcohol issue, family, friends, coworkers, and total strangers may be affected. Most of us don’t have situations that dire, but setting an intention for a situation can work as well for minor arguments as it does for major disruptions.

We have a choice over how we handle whatever comes up. We can’t control everything. However, we can affect anything. Once we direct our energy with intention, we can change the energy of a situation. Again, this doesn’t mean you will always get what you want. Sometimes, it’s in our best interest not to get what we want or not to obtain it right now. It’s all according to the grand plan of the universe.

Remember when you could have had something, and someone told you no. At the time, you were probably angry, thinking that you could be responsible for whatever it was even though others didn’t think so. Then you got whatever it was later on, and it made sense to you why you didn’t get it earlier and how you would have caused a disaster if it had been given to you earlier. When I think of situations like this, I think of a job I really wanted. It was a position in the same company. My boss knew I could do it but told me he wouldn’t give it to me as I was meant for greater things. At the time, I was annoyed with him. Later on, as I got a different job in another company, I was grateful to him as the new job allowed me to expand in ways I never thought possible. The job I originally wanted was great, but it was restrictive in many ways and had no room for expansion. Once I learned all there was to learn about that job, that would be the end for me, and I would have been bored. He could see that when I couldn’t.

When you set an intention that everything turns out for the highest good of all involved, sometimes people leave their jobs, relationships end, or people pack up and move. In the short term, it can be painful and confusing. After some time, we often realize that we dodged a major disaster by accepting what was for the best.

Don’t be afraid to set an intention for your life and situations. It lets the universe know that you are a mindful, active participant. It can help you to know that your intention is already out there, like a silent partner working for everyone’s benefit. Intention allows you to be open to possibilities you haven’t considered. Another of my favorite intentions when people want a job, apartment, car, or a relationship, especially when they have a specific thing in mind, is to say, “This or something better.” We often get stuck wanting that one thing and get snippy when we don’t get it. If you say, “This or something better,” that leaves you open to receiving something greater than you thought you could have.

Intention is easy while at the same time powerful. I wish you all the good things, this or something better.