Most people don’t think about having a priority list. I know I didn’t until I started doing shadow work then I realized that I wouldn’t make much progress without it. We prioritize things from the moment we open our eyes in the morning until we fall asleep at night, but we rarely think about what our priorities are.

What I mean by priorities is thinking about your reasons for doing things. I know several authors who wanted to write their books to be able to tell an important story about themselves or someone they know well. Some of them wrote books to leave a legacy for their families. What is on your priority list?

Do you want to have a condo in a bustling city or a cabin in the woods? Kids or no kids? Pets? Gardener or World Traveler? I’m not saying these things are mutually exclusive, but think about why you do the things you do. What are your priorities? For me, family is always at the top, but so is my happiness. Those things do clash occasionally and there are times when I prioritize my sanity over the wishes and wants of my family. There are also times when I put my preferences aside for the sake of my family. Is career or education at the top of the list? Great. Whatever is on your list is fine. There is nothing wrong with your list, whatever it looks like.

The next step is to really look at the list. Often, what happens when someone writes down their priority list is that they stop there. Writing the list is important because the act of taking pen to paper helps solidify our connection to those words and the thoughts that generated them. Writing creates a mind/body connection as well. Now take a look at your list. Is the list really what you prioritize in your life, or is it what you think you “should” prioritize. When you were thinking of your list, were you hearing someone else’s voice in your head, such as your parents, telling you what needs to be on that list?

This is an exercise in honesty. If you wrote something down as being a priority on your list, yet your actions have not supported that, it means it’s not really a priority for you, and perhaps you need to start another list. Someone I knew would say that family was important to her, but when it came time to choose between family and friends, she would always choose friends, even to the detriment of her family. Her actions spoke volumes about her priority list. What do your actions say you prioritize?

This is not an opportunity to kick yourself for being less than perfect. It’s a chance for you to see where you’re focusing your attention and either change it or continue with conscious effort. Once you have a priority list that resonates with who you are and who you want to be, it will help you make decisions in the future when your choices in life are murky or complicated. It prevents you from being wishy-washy about things. It also sends a clear message to the universe that these are things you intend to support and send your energy to. The universe will then respond in kind.

It’s also a chance for you to examine the things you might be avoiding or that which make you fearful. Look at these things and challenge them in whatever way makes you feel comfortable. Attitudes, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that no longer serve you may show up at this time as well. Be aware of them and the circumstances that tend to bring them to the surface. How do they support your priority list? If they don’t, how can you change or alter them so they can support your efforts to keep your priorities in order?

I found that it was easier to make decisions once I figured out who and what was on my priority list. When it’s a matter of whether I should do this or that, I think about my priority list and make the decision based on whichever choice supports my list and respect the boundaries I have set by making the list. One of the purposes of writing a priority list is to create the boundaries, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually that you intend to follow. Things that fall within the boundaries you set are things that can nurture your plans for your future. Anything outside of it falls away. Does that mean what falls away may include people? Yes.

We always walk our path alone, but we do have others who walk on their own paths beside us. At some point in time, those paths may take us away from one another. It may be a turn on the path that takes them away for some time and then allows them to come back to us. It may be a detour that becomes permanent. It means that both parties needed to make space for others to walk beside them. Anyone who ends up leaving your life, bless them on their journey and look forward to spending time with the next person who will take their place. It will be someone who can help you with what’s on your priority list.