Over the past few weeks, the card readings I’ve done have centered around self-esteem, self-love, and self-respect. These are not readings for me, although when I do readings, I get a slight tingle at the back of my mind as if the universe is poking me to pay attention and think of the card layout as a reminder for myself. One after another, cards reminding my clients to care for themselves mentally, physically, and spiritually kept showing up. Often it would be the same cards despite my fastidious shuffling.

It’s a reminder that as we live through interesting times, it’s to our benefit to take nothing for granted, not even ourselves. It’s time to look at who we are or who we think we are and decide if what we think and believe about ourselves is still valid. With time, we change, our ideals change, and our hopes and dreams change too. They don’t always, but they often do. I remember, as a teenager, thinking that a Corvette was the car of my dreams. Several decades later, my dream car is now an SUV. If I got a Corvette now, I could get in and be uncomfortable while complaining that I was practically sitting on the ground with my tailbone rattling over every bump in the road. Then I’d have to crawl to get out of the thing. That doesn’t sound like a good time to me.

One of our standard thought processes centers around what we want to accomplish. What can I get done? What can I achieve? How do I make my mark in the world? Very few of us think about Who we are and who we want to be? We can accomplish a lot as individuals and determine the path to creating those things, but who are you?

Who you are is dictated by how well you care for yourself. Creating greatness is hard when you tell yourself you can’t do it. You’re probably right if you repeatedly tell yourself you’ll never do it. Self-fulfilling prophecy is real. We create our reality, be mindful of what you construct. If you believe it to be true, it can become so. I know someone who convinces herself of things that haven’t happened or believe others said things they never said. Then she acts on what she thinks. That way lies madness. Don’t be that person. Be conscious of your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs before they become actions that could damage your relationships.

It’s important to remember that you are the center of your reality. Everything begins and ends with you. With that in mind, it makes perfect sense to take care of yourself. Your world is a reflection of you. Inside and out. Don’t like what you see? Change it. How? By changing something about yourself. One small change can make a big difference. Such as? Get up earlier to work out or meditate. Go to bed earlier to get more sleep. Cut down on your coffee or sugar intake. Drink more water throughout the day. Take the stairs once a week. Moisturize your skin when you get out of the shower to avoid looking like an alligator. Make a different choice than you normally would. It doesn’t matter what you choose to do. Do something, change something, try something. It doesn’t have to be drastic. It can be a little thing that makes your day smoother and lessens stress.

Acknowledge when you make changes that you are doing them for YOU, not your spouse, kids, or job, but for YOU. When you make whatever changes you choose, do them because you want to do them, and they will make your life easier. However, putting yourself first doesn’t mean you get to stomp all over the wishes and desires of others. It means there might be instances where negotiating the fine points of the changes you want to make is a good idea. You don’t live in a vacuum. Others may be affected by your actions either directly or indirectly. Don’t be the vegetarian that expects everyone else to stop eating meat or the meat eater that refuses to let a vegetarian explore their dietary options. If you have a requirement that is a deal breaker, such as telling someone who smokes around you to stop because you don’t smoke or have a lung condition, you need hard boundaries for your well-being.

Good or bad, we can never be anyone but ourselves, and we will never be what anyone else thinks we should be. We can only be who we are, and no one can determine who that is but us. The people around us give us models showing us who we could be, but it’s up to us to decide whether to reflect what we see or model ourselves after something else. We get into trouble when we try to be someone other than who we are.
With the question of gender that is currently the topic du jour, this has become even more of a complex issue for some of us, which makes it difficult to navigate sometimes. For me, it’s a non-issue. I don’t care how someone identifies. Someone’s sexual preference is none of my business. What I care about is their level of kindness. Beyond that, I couldn’t give a rat’s patoot.

The bottom line is that we need to care for ourselves. What that looks like, we get to decide. We get to pick the things, places, and people that nourish us, bolster us, and help us to grow into the people we want to be. In the growth process, we can create the reality we want and bring the things we dream of into our lives. Self-love, self-respect, and self-acceptance comprise a direct path to self-determination. If you can achieve these things, your life will be much more balanced. It will also be much easier to see the beauty of being you.