When I first went over and met my ancestors, a shaman I was working with helped me create a construct. An imaginary place from where I could connect to the other side. It’s been almost twenty years since then, and I still use it. It has changed and evolved as I have, but the elements he helped me create are still there. I use this same technique when teaching others how to connect with their ancestors.

As it was a long time ago, I can’t remember exactly what happened, but when my first ancestor appeared, I felt a connection that I hadn’t known I was missing. The person who showed up was an aunt. I don’t know how I knew that, but I knew. I never asked her name. They know I’m not good with names, and I got the impression that it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that I knew they were there for me. She spoke to me in Hawaiian, but I heard her in English. I don’t remember what we talked about, only that it was comfortable, like I had known her my whole life, even knowing I had never met her before.

Since then, I have to admit I am a bit slacker. I don’t walk over there to talk to them much anymore. Instead, I call out to them, and they come to me. Spoiled, right? The connection I have to my ancestors is so strong that if I ask them to come and stand with me, they do. I don’t mean one or two. I mean enough to fill a room. When I ask them to help me understand something, I get inklings and hunches about who to speak to or what to look for if I’m researching something. If I feel like I need protection while I’m sleeping. I call for them, and I feel the warriors standing around my bed. I sleep great on those nights. They also step up when I ask for help during a healing session, whether for myself or someone I’m working on.

Here is a story that amazes me even now. I was invited to an event that needed energy healers. It was a week-long event, and I was in the tent for eight hours every day. Toward the end of the week, my back was hurting, and one of the other healers offered to work on me. She was a native healer, and I wanted to see if I could feel any difference between the energy I worked with and the one she accessed. I was too relaxed to do that, and I was lying face down during the session so she could work on my back with my eyes closed.

At one point, I opened my eyes. I was on a massage table that had the face section removed. I saw the healer’s skirt move as she adjusted her stance, and then I closed my eyes again. When the session was over, I was surprised to note that the healer working on me wore a black skirt. The skirt I saw while on the table was white. When I said that to the healer, she smiled and told me my ancestors showed up to help her. That was the first and only time I have ever seen anything to do with my ancestors so solidly. I could have reached out and touched the fabric. Now I feel them, get strong impressions of them and see them in my mind, but it’s never been like that since.

If you decide to meet your ancestors, your experiences will be different. Even with the people I have escorted to the other side, we get there through various methods, and the landscape is never the same as I’ve seen it before. It’s due to the ancestors and the person creating a construct that makes sense to them. All I’m there to do is facilitate and keep everyone safe. Some have met their relatives in a comfortable room, others outdoors alongside a river or stream.

Sometimes it looks modern. Other times we are transported to a place that we would consider ancient but at a time when it was new. I have stood with others at the top of mountains and the bottom of valleys. We have ventured to other countries and heard many languages. We have ventured to places in time long before the things we take for granted were possible. It’s been interesting for me, and I’ve learned a lot.

The most important part about connecting with the ancestors is belonging. We are part of something that has lasted through lifetimes, through war and peace, through life and death. It is the realization that no matter what, we are never alone. A connection to your ancestors gives you unconditional love and support.

That doesn’t mean to say it’s all roses. You might genuinely have a grudge against someone for something and weren’t able to clear the air due to their passing, but it doesn’t mean you can’t. You can still communicate with that person and tell them how you feel. If they have passed all the way through and been through the life review, they will be able to give you some insight as to why things were the way they were. They might even be able to apologize for whatever they did or grant forgiveness if that’s what you’re looking for.

Be aware that if they haven’t completely crossed over, talking to them will be the same as if you were speaking to them before they passed away. They may hold the same attitudes and positions they had when they were alive. Where they are in their journey dictates what their responses are going to be like. Manage your expectations. That doesn’t mean you can’t have a resolution. It means that it may not come about in the way that you hope.

One person I walked over with spoke to an ancestor who yelled at us. Thank goodness it was in another language. We didn’t understand a word of it. The other ancestor who translated for us turned to us and said, “She’s upset,” and left it at that. We eventually worked out why the first one was so intense and got her to calm down after we explained a few things, but it was startling to say hello and then get cussed out.

Overall for me, it’s been a positive experience, and I can say that’s been true for most of my clients as well. Some people don’t have the inclination to look backward, I certainly didn’t, but when I did, I realized that they weren’t as far away as I thought.

As I was writing this, I asked if my ancestors would protect me, and they said yes in Hawaiian. I said thank you in English. They scolded me for not answering in Hawaiian. I answered in Hawaiian, then added another request to which they answered yes in Hawaiian again. I said thank you in Hawaiian, and they said you’re welcome in Spanish. They know I’ve been learning Spanish and decided to play a joke on me. Dead or alive, family is family. That’s what it’s like meeting your ancestors.