Everything I’m about to say is based on my own cosmology and belief system. This is how things work in my world. If yours is different, good for you.

When I figured out I wanted to meet my ancestors, I wasn’t sure where to start. The first part was figuring out how to reach them. I was listening to another shaman’s podcast and she laid out the landscape she uses. While I listened, it resonated with my own cosmology, and in my mind, the mysterious land of the dead materialized. I followed some of her recommendations about how to meet with my ancestors and how to do certain things but found that I needed to adapt those practices to make them work for me. I made the changes and was able to speak to my ancestors directly.

I first got the lay of the land and spoke to some of my relatives. I noticed right away that I could hear them speaking in Hawaiian, but I heard the English translation at the same time. It was strange in the beginning, but now I think nothing of it. They told me that sometimes people don’t get a translation like I do and that when calling for an ancestor to meet, you should call one that can translate for you. Remember that not everyone in the world speaks English or prefers to, and the likelihood is high that some of your relatives were alive before colonization. They will be speaking their mother tongue.

I had a client who spoke Japanese, but some of the relatives who came to speak to her spoke a dialect of Japanese that was so old she couldn’t figure out what they were saying. We asked for a relative who could translate, and things went smoothly after that. Every time I “walk” someone over to the other side, we usually ask for someone capable of translating between my client and whoever we need to see on the other side. It makes things easier in the long run. If the relative we go to see speaks English, great. If not, we got it covered.

Why would you visit your ancestors?

There are many reasons. One of them is to learn what they know. They have wisdom not only from when they were alive but also because of what they learned after they died. They have glimpsed “the big picture.” The master plan of the universe. They might be able to give us hints about where we fit in it. Not always, mind you, but they can guide us to the things and people we need to encounter to move us toward what’s best for us. The key to understanding yourself might be getting to know them. When you spend enough time with them and see a gesture you always do, you’ll know where it comes from.

How do you meet your ancestors?

There are several ways to do this. The easiest is through automatic writing. It can be done anywhere, anytime, as long as you’re willing to take the time to do it. The way I do automatic writing is to ask my guides, guardian, and ancestors to protect me as I do this and ensure that I am getting the answers I need to hear and not necessarily what I want to hear. I might specify who I want to connect with if the question is geared toward them. Such as, I wouldn’t ask my guides a question about a family secret.

I write a question at the top, then write down whatever I hear as if I’m taking dictation. I don’t pay attention to the words. I just write. Once it feels like the message is complete, I stop writing and read what it says. The other thing to note about automatic writing is to physically write it. Typing it isn’t the same. There is a visceral connection made when the message is handwritten, and the act of writing it kind of solidifies the answer in our souls through that connection. For me, somehow, it always makes it easier to remember.

Another method to try is meditation. If you are able to meditate, you can see yourself in a location of your choice and call for a helpful ancestor to join you there for a conversation. Be specific about asking for a helpful ancestor. Trust me, you have many that are unhelpful, and you don’t want those around when you’re trying to figure something out. They have their own agenda. It’s best not to try to figure out what that is while you’re working to accomplish something. More on this at another time.

What do you say to your ancestor when they show up?

Hello is always good. Thank them for their time. Even though time no longer has meaning for them, they have things they can be doing for others and for themselves. They didn’t have to answer your call. Let me say this now to avoid confusion later. This is not 1-800-dial-a-ghost. You may call for someone to come to speak to you, and there is a possibility that they might not show up.

Why? As I’ve mentioned. They have things to do. Just because they are dead doesn’t mean that it puts them at the beck and call of the living. It doesn’t. Don’t forget they know you. If they don’t think it’s worth their time to speak to you for whatever reason. They might not show up. If they don’t, there is a reason for it, and if you ever want to speak to them, it’s in your best interest to figure out why.

Here’s an example. I had a woman sit down with me. She was kind of snotty and had a little bit of an attitude, which I didn’t care for, but my abilities work regardless of whether I like the client or not. I called out for her ancestors to step forward. Three people showed up, but none of them wanted to move close enough to speak. I had never seen this before. Usually, when I call for ancestors, they come to stand right behind the person. Often so close that the person gets a shiver. In this case, it looked like they were standing at the end of a long hallway. It took several tries for me to get them to move closer so I could speak to them. I should have taken it as a sign. The ancestors finally spoke, but as the client didn’t want to hear what they had to say and preferred to speak to someone else, she would only pay half my fee. I took what she offered to be rid of her. It was a good lesson for me. In the future, if the relatives who have passed all the way through and hold no grudges won’t step up, I’ll tell the client I can’t help them.

There is also the possibility that if you are trying to contact a specific person and that person has not gone all the way through to the light, they will still be holding on to old feelings, beliefs, attitudes, etc. If they were ornery in life, they are still ornery. If you’re trying to call someone with a bad attitude, that could be another reason they don’t show up. They don’t feel like it, don’t want to, or are exacting some kind of revenge for something that happened years ago that you don’t even remember. Whatever happens, try not to take it personally. There’s a lesson to be found there. You’ll have to figure it out.

Often with ancestors, it has to do with respect. Remember what I said about not being at our beck and call? They don’t have to answer, and they know it. Calling for your ancestors is asking them for their time and help. Get demanding on them, and they could leave you hanging forever.

If an ancestor does show up, what do we talk about?

You can ask them why they chose to meet you or if there is something specific you need to know. Ask them whatever you want to ask them. Make the time worth it. Don’t ask questions like why there is war? Questions like that are global and irrelevant to the connection between you and your ancestors. You could ask them, but there is also no guarantee they will answer you. Even if they could answer it, there are some things that are none of your business, or it’s not time for you to know. Ask relevant questions that will help you understand more about yourself and what you feel you need to accomplish or achieve physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.

You can ask them about themselves if you like. They will tell you what to call them. Sometimes they will give you an English name to make it easier for you instead of telling you their real name, which might be in a language you can’t pronounce. Again, just because you’ve asked doesn’t mean they’re going to tell you. Most of my ancestors dispense with the small talk about names and when and where they lived. They get right to the point of what they want to talk about or what they want to show me. They know rambling conversations make my eyes glaze over.

Meeting your ancestors can give you a deeper sense of family, even if you are not close to the relatives still living. They can help in many ways once you have established a connection with them. Meeting your ancestors can give you a better understanding of where you came from, who you are, and who you could be.