I am not the greatest communicator, and no one who knows me would ever call me a diplomat, but I consider myself to be a person of reason. Even if I’m flaming pissed off, if you give me a couple of days to calm down, or longer, depending on what it is, I might be able to have a discussion about it and see what I can do to fix whatever it is.

Through observation over the past few years, the Universe is making me clean house. I mean that in terms of friends and acquaintances. I’ve stopped speaking to more people in the last ten years than I have in the rest of my life. I’ve stopped talking to people who I thought would always be a part of my life and have been contacted by others I haven’t spoken to in years. I don’t know what to do with this weird energy. What has been consistent throughout this bizarre scenario is that everything happens fast, like crazy, what the hell, kind of fast.

Things are being created and dying faster than I can keep track of these days. The pandemic has driven home that life is too short to put up with BS. True, but I think it’s also making people even more short-sighted than they already are. Instead of trying to figure out a solution to a problem, it seems people would rather choose the nuclear option and burn it to the ground.

I will be the first to tell you that that is often necessary. I’ve tried to talk with people about how what they do affects others. They were more interested in their own opinions than anything else. Firmly believing they were doing what was best for others without asking what the others thought about it. They just wanted to do what they wanted and saw nothing wrong. In instances like that, I am the first to go nuclear, cut and run, burn the bridge, and be done. There is no point in attempting communication because the other person has already convinced themselves that they are right, and no amount of logic will change it. It’s best to move on.

I don’t understand when people are willing to discuss something, and one person blows it all to hell. They decide for everyone with an ultimatum. God help me. I hate those. The minute someone says, “my way or the highway,” I take the highway EVERY TIME. I am so reliable that you can bet money on it. Issuing an ultimatum is the fastest way to get me to drop you like a hot rock. It’s a classic example of being short-sighted.

While life is short, we still need others around us. If we keep employing the nuclear option every time things don’t go our way, we will soon find ourselves standing alone in the smoking ruins of our lives. Should we let other people run over us? Hell no, but we don’t need to vaporize every relationship because they annoyed us.

How about having an actual conversation? Sometimes people do or say things without realizing how that affects other people. How can they see what’s happening if no one tells them? Part of this is also perception. What did they say vs. what did you hear?

My ex-friend took everything as a personal insult or jab at her, even when the discussion had nothing to do with her. It was brutal trying to talk to her. We could be talking about how expensive grocery shopping was, and it would turn into a jab about her shortcomings. I was astonished. It takes effort to be that self-centered, and I couldn’t take it. I employed the nuclear option in that relationship and have never looked back or regretted it. My sanity needed to be saved.

Here’s my thought. If you are in a situation where you need to employ the nuclear option, fine, but make sure it’s warranted. If your first reaction is always to burn it down, no one will want anything to do with you long-term. Why? Once people know that when your will is thwarted, you will bring it all down in a fit of temper, or God forbid, an ultimatum, they won’t bother with you. Life is too short for BS, remember?

This situation also creates bad energy that then has to be dealt with afterward. Cords need to be cut, and energy walls erected. When employing drastic measures, the stages of grief kick in. All of it comes with energy, and all of it is directed at you.

Going nuclear is used when all other efforts to solve the issue have been exhausted. We seem to have forgotten this, and it’s become the first choice instead of the last-ditch effort to save something. Some of us would rather destroy everything because it’s not perfect. You might want to remember that nothing is perfect. If you can’t reconcile yourself to that, get used to rubble and the smell of smoke. It’s all that will be left of your relationships after choosing the nuclear option.