This next series is going to be all about Shadow Work. You may not have heard of it, but if you’re serious about moving forward on a metaphysical journey, it’s something you’ll probably have to do at some point.

Shadow work is looking at the parts of yourself that are not so nice. I’m not talking about the muffin top at the waistband of your jeans. I’m talking about the instances when you are petty, jealous, and mean-spirited. When you are selfish, self-centered, or demanding. These are the things you will have to consider. Whenever you catch yourself doing something or acting in ways that you don’t like, that is your shadow self reaching up and smacking you in the face.

This is often referred to as your dark side. I’ve even heard someone refer to it as their evil twin. This is the part of you that doesn’t care about other people. It cares only about you and what you want and what you think. It’s the part of ourselves that we don’t like and, most of the time, refuse to acknowledge.

If you hope that by reading this series, you will be able to forever rid yourself of all the non-loving behaviors, thoughts, and feelings you have, allowing you to reach a state of Nirvana by next Tuesday, it’s not likely to happen. Shadow work is a long-distance race, not a sprint. While we will talk about the integration of the shadow self, there is always more work to be done. We are complex beings with many facets to us. This is one of those things that may take us a lifetime to achieve, but the small glimpses of who we could be are enough to make the effort worth it.

Why do we want to do it if it is a life-long thing?

Actual progress is made when we are ready to acknowledge all parts of ourselves, even the not-so-nice parts. I want to caution you that I’m not saying that you should come out of this process as if you were transformed into Little Mary Sunshine. Shadow work allows you to be a better version of yourself.

When you think about the person you want to be, what are they like? Try to identify where the stumbling block to being that person lies. If you’re pointing your finger at something external, that’s your first mistake. All things about us originate with us and inside us. That sucks, I know, because it’s much easier to lay the blame on some external person, place, thing, or circumstance. I’m not saying those things didn’t play a part in creating that stumbling block. One of those things may have been the catalyst that started the whole mess in the first place. The point is, if you want to change it, you have to take control of it. When you take control of something, you become responsible for it. Regardless of how it started, you must decide to finish it.

Part of the reason this is a life-long process is that there are things about us so deeply buried that it will take major excavation on our part to get to them and bring them into the light. It sounds easy, but it’s not. It’s not like opening a dusty box and seeing what’s inside. This is diving into your soul and looking at the parts of yourself that you work very hard to hide and/or ignore.

The part of us that will stall our progress is our ego. That part of us gives us confidence, arrogance, fairness, injustice, carefulness, and insensitivity. It encompasses many aspects of our personality, both good and bad. This is the playground of the shadow self. Even when we’re super vigilant about what we say and do, our dark side can show up and mess things up for us. The ego works in concert with our shadow self, but don’t think of the ego as an enemy.

The ego allows us to keep growing, changing, and learning. We really can’t do anything without it. Think of your ego as an ally that is often too focused on something to notice what’s really important. We need to use our hearts and higher brain function to guide all parts of ourselves to think, feel and act in the ways we would if we were already a “better” version of ourselves. It’s only a matter of time before we stop having to”fake it til you make it” and become that better person we want to be.

We need the ego to help us negotiate through the darker parts of us. The parts that we don’t like about ourselves. The things about our personalities, tendencies, habits, and beliefs that we wish we could change. We can, but it will take work. Shadow Work. Taking the time to look at the worse parts of us is difficult. We think of ourselves as pretty good to begin with and only need a little tweak here and there.

This is not related to self-esteem. Loving yourself for all that you are is unconditional love at its finest. This is about working toward feeling happier and more secure in who you are and who you want to be. It also speaks to the contribution you plan to make to the world. The more stable you are, the more you can positively affect the world around you.

Shadow work is not for sissies. This is where you really look at yourself. That doesn’t mean you have to turn yourself inside out in the process. It means being honest with yourself. You don’t get to ignore, dismiss or disregard anything you discover about yourself. It means looking at the things that hurt you, the things you fear, and the things you hate.

Most people immediately say that they don’t hate anyone or anything. On the surface, that may be true, but in shadow work, we take the time to scrutinize our thoughts and behaviors and analyze them as objectively as we can. When we see patterns emerge about something, there is a belief in play. It could be one we didn’t know we had. We get to then decide whether it’s for our highest good to keep it.

Doing shadow work is not an opportunity to beat yourself up for not being perfect. This is a chance for you to make different choices and create outcomes closer to the person you want to be and the life you want to have.

Are you ready to dive in and face yourself?

The good news is it’s not an everyday thing. It’s a “when I feel it’s time” thing. The better news about this is that you will know yourself so well in the process that you will know when it’s time to do it again and what to expect.

There are many methods for working with your shadow self. Next week, there will be a list of suggestions on how to begin. So get ready to meet yourself in a whole new way and stay tuned for your next step in Shadow Work.