Who says the universe doesn’t have a sense of humor? Most of it is ironic, in my opinion. Disease affects everyone regardless of race, age, or economic status, as well as spiritual status. Some of the most powerful healers I know have serious health issues, myself included. Not that I consider myself particularly powerful, but I have skills that other people I know don’t have. My point is that despite having the ability to help others find healing for themselves, we are unable to find it in ourselves. 

Why that is could be for various reasons. Many healers have a martyr complex. They feel the need to sacrifice themselves for others or for “the greater good,” as if they know what that is. Maybe they do, but I didn’t get that message, and martyrdom is not for me.  While there are people I would make serious sacrifices for, I assure you it is a very short list. 

I view my current situation as a challenge. I have been sick in one way or another since day one of my life. I won’t roll out the list of things I’m dealing with now because that only lends more energy to them. The objective is to think about things that are working perfectly well to send energy to that so the things that are wrong will get in line. However, I can’t help wondering if the reason healers get significant health issues is for a different reason.

A friend of mine mentioned that she thinks the stuff we’re both going through now is because it’s preparing us for the next thing, and the universe wanted us to have the experience to teach us something. I suppose that’s possible. She believes that she got breast cancer to be able to guide her mother and cousin through it. Then she got what she calls “the penny version” of uterine cancer and had to take another ride on the medical merry-go-round. She’s fine now, but I have to wonder why it had to be a personal experience. She does teach the people around her by telling her stories. What I don’t understand is why we can’t get the message from reading a book or watching a movie. Why do we have to live the tragedies instead of being able to absorb the lessons from those who have already lived those experiences?

Learning the hard way is something I’ve done in the past and still do. According to those who can read it, my astrological chart says I’m stubborn. No surprise there, but I have to wonder why the lesson has to be so drastic and last for so long? Again my friend mentioned that in between the days when I’m non-functional, I have been able to do things that, had I still been on a non-flexible schedule, I wouldn’t be able to do. That’s true, but due to being sick a great deal of the time, I haven’t been able to accomplish the things that I want to do.

We’ve all heard people say that the greatest thing you can be is in service to humanity, and I don’t disagree. I believe far too many people only look out for themselves and not anyone else. Selfishness and narcissism are so rampant it’s ridiculous. I have to laugh when I see articles about how to recognize a narcissist. It’s becoming harder to tell. If there is a line designating what a narcissist is, it’s getting blurry, but that’s a topic for another day. Healers are, by definition, if they doing it correctly, people who actively work to be of service to others. Why the suffering?

A shaman I trained with some years ago said that he had the same experience in noticing that the powerful shamans he knew all had some sort of breathing problem. The healers around me have immune system issues, cancer, back pain, stomach issues, and/or a combination of the aforementioned. A few are healthy because it can’t be an all-or-nothing thing because life isn’t like that, but it’s still an inordinate amount of healers with some sort of ongoing ailment. It’s ironic that those who do their best to alleviate suffering are the ones who also suffer. Of course, self-care can be an issue with healers who have a tendency to put the needs of others before themselves, but most won’t go to the level of complete physical breakdown.

Maybe it’s because I would rather believe life is more like modern fairytales than how they were when written by the Grimm brothers, but I think that good things should happen to good people and that karma should be kicking the ass of anyone who does bad things. With that line of thinking, though, there is always the belief that in this life, we could be paying for something in a past life or even for something one of our ancestors did. That’s another can of worms, isn’t it? Yet, that is the belief of not only some strains of metaphysicians but also some religions.

The question then becomes, what do we do? We are beings that reflect both past and current circumstances. What you eat today will affect how you feel tomorrow. What you ate yesterday can determine how you feel today. What your dead ancestors passed on to you could be affecting you right now. One would hope that the universe would have given those who were chosen to help others heal the ability to keep themselves healthy. To allow them to help others longer. As a healer with health problems, if the universe has offered me the solution, so far, I haven’t been able to find it. Perhaps it’s only that I haven’t met someone who can get past my stubbornness and clue me in.

Think about your own list of health issues and figure out what you can do to help yourself and, in doing so, help those around you.