The Dark Side. We like to make jokes about it, but it’s a real thing and as people who are forging our own path of spirituality, we have to find a way to make peace with it. Not only that which is part of us but that which is within other people.

I’ve read a book recently that said that there is no duality, only the perception of it. That sounds about right to me, but as living beings, the main tool we have to negotiate the parameters of our existence is to use perception. 

Now don’t get me started on perception because that is a conversation that can go on for years and has in some scientific and philosophical circles. I’m not trying to get tangled up in that mess, I’m trying to keep it simple and break things down into small pieces that can be examined closely, flipped on their side, and given as much or as little contemplation as someone chooses.

We perceive duality in our lives, right or wrong, it is what is. That doesn’t mean we can’t skirt around that to conceive and perceive something more, something different. In the metaphysical community, we do it every day, all day long. However, even metaphysicians tend to lean in to the positive aspects of our perceived duality and outright ignore the negative. I believe this is a mistake.

The people we work with come to us with negative issues or they wouldn’t walk in our doors. The premise is that our vibrations are so high, that we can bash whatever their negativity is over the head, get their credit card number and send them on their merry way. That’s how most people in the community work. That’s not to say that they are not truly attempting to help their client with their issue or that they don’t care. There are a lot of people who are doing good work, making good money, and changing lives. We also have our share of charlatans, but that’s true for every profession, and don’t get me started on that mess because I have serious bones to pick there. *writing down blog post idea*

Back to the dark side business. You have a dark side, everyone does. Regardless of how often people try to act like this isn’t so, in unguarded moments, that bitch will rear her ugly head and make a mess of things. It could happen when you meet a client for the first time. I can’t tell you how often it’s happened to me. When I speak to people on the phone and then show up, I get a blank stare as if they’re trying to reconcile the voice of the person they spoke to and the person standing in front of them. I might as well have dunked them in ice water. After speaking to me, their minds have already formulated what I look like and what my personality is like. In short, I have already been categorized. Then when I show up, their mouth drops open and I get to see their tonsils until they pull it together.

The dark side contains the parts of our personality that we don’t like, impatience, stubbornness, prejudices, intolerances, etc. All of our preconceived notions live there, stereotypes and hidden beliefs we act on every day without even knowing they’re there. It also holds our fears and insecurities. The things that we try very hard to convince ourselves and others that we don’t have. Sorry people, but we can’t all be Mother Teresa and we’re not supposed to be. The only thing we can be is ourselves.

If we don’t find a way to deal with the darker aspects of ourselves, we leave the door open for other people and events to trigger us. When we are triggered by something, our dark side has a hall pass to our lives. That could result in something embarrassing like you bursting into tears at an inopportune moment or something worse. Fill in the blank with whatever you think the worst-case scenario would be. Any and all of that could happen and is likely to happen if you don’t deal with your dark side in some way. You might think you have that sh*t locked down, but you would be wrong. All you need is the right words said the wrong way and BAM!

The worst thing would be if you triggered a client and they triggered you. That is a recipe for disaster.  Things can escalate quickly and can result in harsh words, bad attitudes, and hard feelings. It’s not the harmonious and loving atmosphere we are supposed to be creating. 

To get to the heart of most issues, practitioners need to find a way to acknowledge those parts of themselves that they don’t like.  Become conscious of their “unfriendly” tendencies to be able to catch when they see that they have done a backslide in their thinking or action. Some people call this “embracing your dark side.” Call it whatever you want and use whatever method or methods, plural, you need to work through your issues.

Easy, peasy, right? Hell no, but it’s worth it and it’s always a work in progress. Why do it? If you intend to help others, if that is your calling, then you owe it to yourself and them to do the work. If a client approaches you and you know you can help them, but there is something about the client you don’t like or can’t stand, you won’t be able to help them because your dark side will be driving the bus. Whatever rapport you build with them will be tainted by the dark energy that you will work like hell to disguise. It won’t work though and if you work with energy at all, you know it won’t. 

I can walk into a room and tell from the energy around me who sees me and who sees only the version of me they have in their head. If I don’t want to bother reading the energy, all I have to do is look at their faces.

The dark side can pop up at any time and I can promise you that it will at the least convenient time. It’s better to have an idea when that side of yourself might step forward before it gets you in hot water. The other point to make is that when others come to you for help, their dark side might be in charge, and trust me when I tell you that one dark side in charge is plenty to deal with. If the dark sides of both people are active at the same time, the chances of it being a positive experience for either party gets slimmer than a straightened-out paper clip.

Put your best foot forward by acknowledging and observing your dark side to give yourself a chance to catch your bad behavior. It will help you to understand yourself better. It will let you know what you can and cannot tolerate and more importantly why. Communicating with your dark side allows you to see what you think, how you feel, and how you are likely to act in certain circumstances. It allows you to be in control and make a different choice.

Whoever walks in your door will get the benefit of your hard work and feel from the cohesiveness of your energy that you will at least have a shot at helping them with whatever they have going on. Embrace the dark, dance with the dark, call it whatever you want, just handle it before it handles you.